AUGUST … The Snow Has Happened. Now What?
ARIES – July proved you right about the snow, and you’ve been insufferable ever since. August brings the sudden realisation that one successful prediction does not make you a meteorologist. Please stop checking the forecast every six minutes.
TAURUS – You survived the snow beautifully — mostly by staying indoors with food, blankets and a fire. August encourages more of the same. If anyone invites you somewhere, ask first: “Will there be heating?”
GEMINI – You have shown everyone your snow photos approximately 47 times, from 11 different angles. We get it. It snowed. Your August challenge is finding something else to talk about. Good luck.
CANCER – The snow awakened something emotional in you. Suddenly Hogsback feels magical again and you’re considering forgiving everyone. Don’t rush it. Give it until the next power outage.
LEO – You looked magnificent in the snow and have photographic evidence to prove it. Unfortunately, everyone else also looked magnificent in the snow. August demands that you find a new stage. Jazz Festival should provide one.
VIRGO – You’ve spent the past month documenting snowfall, temperatures, road conditions and exactly how many hours the power was off. Your records are immaculate. Your patience is not.
LIBRA – July’s snow restored your faith in Hogsback — briefly. Now you’re trying to decide whether August means Jazz Festival, hibernation or both. Choose both. You can dance in a puffer jacket.
SCORPIO – The snow softened you for approximately eleven minutes. Then somebody posted something stupid on Facebook and you returned to your natural state. August finds you watching quietly from the shadows and knowing far more than you should.
SAGITTARIUS – The snow has convinced you that winter adventure is officially a good idea. It isn’t. You will attempt something ridiculous in freezing conditions and call it “an experience.” At least tell someone where you’re going.
CAPRICORN – You spent July preparing for snow and were annoyingly correct. August rewards you with another list of things that need fixing before the next disaster. You are beginning to suspect that living in Hogsback is just one long unpaid maintenance contract.
AQUARIUS – You predicted the snow, manifested the snow, or at least loudly claimed you did. Nobody can prove otherwise. August brings another visionary idea. Please, for the love of the mountain, finish the previous one first.
PISCES – The snow has confirmed everything you’ve always believed about Hogsback: it is magical, mysterious and slightly unhinged. August finds you wandering through the mist looking for signs from the universe. The universe recommends putting on a jacket.
AUGUST’S BIG QUESTION:
Now that we’ve finally had the snow we spent all winter begging for…(Possibly heading for more)
What the hell are we going to complain about next? … … No Doubt… … …Hogsback will think of something.